Maverick Pays Rent-a-Crowd for Support Demonstrations

I’m beginning to think that Julie-ass Maverick Malema enjoys being in the media spotlight; so much so that he might have to start applying sunscreen to his slaphead so that it doesn’t peel. He even made the front page of the BBC News Website’s Africa section today. This is quite an achievement in my mind considering that the guy is only 30! He does however look much older, but this could simply be down to a bad choice in face cream and lack of R & R.

If Julie-ass spent as much time on his looks as he did spouting his highly opinionated twaddle, he might shave years off his perceived age. I’m currently filling out an online entry form on his behalf to appear on the TV show ’10 years younger’ when it airs in South Africa, however this should not be seen as a favour in any regard. I just want him to look his best in front of all the judges that he’ll be facing. His wardrobe and makeup artist should also outfit him with a nice weave and reputable matt foundation as his shiny features reflect terribly in all his interviews and head shots.

JuJu has been a naughty boy of late, sticking his porky fingers in where they aren’t required and calling for an overthrow of Botswana’s current government. The ANC’s youth league’s president has since apologised for his comments and the fact that they did not align with current ANC collective thinking. Unfortunately his sausages have been burnt badly and he could be expelled from the party following his trial decision; that is, when the powers-that-be manage to find a suitable venue for his hearing! Need I throw into the bread-mix that he is also being investigated for alleged fraud and corruption?

The hearing was originally scheduled to take place at ANC headquarters in Jo’burg, but after all his scallywags turned up and started throwing rocks, chanting and setting things on fire, it was announced that it would be moved to an ‘undisclosed’ location. Unfortunately, when you turn up to said ‘top-secret’ location with a parade of government spec black cars and a police escort, it doesn’t take a genius, let alone his rent-a-crowd Neanderthal followers, to spread the word. Maybe the fires were to be used as smoke signals, due to the fact that the supporters had all run out of cellphone airtime and ‘please call me’s’?

Julie-ass turns up at

This morning, the meeting is back at ANC headquarters (what a surprise!) and the followers have returned, like flies to the brown sticky stuff, after police have incessantly tried to shoo them away with stun grenades. Maybe Julie-ass should convince his supporters to do something productive with their oodles of spare time, e.g. stay in school and get a good education and/or job? If he is eventually ousted from the ANC, a person with his job credentials should have no problem finding work where he can shovel cow poo to his heart’s content – no disrespect intended to any farm workers.

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