Taking Back Tomorrow

Vehicle hijacking is a popular pastime amongst the delinquent social class of South African society. Come to think about it; what else would an unemployed, fit and healthy individual with time to spare do on an otherwise uneventful day? The legal options are very limited indeed.

A recent census amongst primary school truants revealed that 86.7% of such individuals (remembering that 90% of all statistical data is utter codswallop) craved employment in an organised carjacking syndicate. One of the prerequisites of such a ‘job’ is that an individual must apply only after flunking their first term of high school and should not be able to do their 2 Times Table. Credit must be given where credit is due however; successful candidates are offered a sure-fire way of securing a lucrative salary and even spoiling themselves by occasionally driving the car of their dreams, i.e. one with an engine and four wheels. Bonus points are up for grabs in the syndicate’s ‘high-roller’ league table if the stolen car happens to sport either a Toyota or VW badge. Continue reading

Hilux Frontier

District 9 Hilux

Akin to the design of the Land Cruiser and Patrol being at home in the deserts of Arabia, the Hilux must be one of a handful of vehicles which has firmly established its headquarters in the four corners of South Africa – from the flats of the Karoo and the steep mountain passes of the Drakensberg, to the sandy shores of Cape Town and my local Woolies car park in Gauteng. It is arguably the best-selling bakkie (pick-up) in the country and a five minute trip on any road will confirm this. Every other pick-up is a Hilux in some shape or form!

There is definitely something about this vehicle that features in the desires of the entire local community. It is imperative to own one as a South African! You needn’t be in construction or the farming industry to own this vehicle as there are plenty of mod-shops who will drop, raise, spray and pimp your Hilux to your heart’s desire. I’ve chosen to stick my neck out here, but I’m not entirely sure what all the fuss is about as it isn’t even the ‘best’ pick-up on the market (what with the Navara having much more torque and power over the comparatively weedy 3-litre D4-D engine of the Hilux). Reliability in the Toyota, whilst still in the ‘unquestionable’ category, is also not all that it’s cracked up to be! Gone are the days where it could comfortably do 200,000 kilometres without even so much as a filter change (falling standards if you ask me). Rebel! Rebel! Continue reading